We're all just doing the best we can.

Get ready for a fiery tangent.

This morning, I woke up and took the kids to Mcdonald's so they could play on the playground. While they were playing, I opened Facebook and began scrolling and reading. Moms aren't ready for school to start, someone got flowers, there's some pictures up from Iris last night, a friend of mine is expecting twins.... Then I read this:

"One day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else... THIS IS SO TRUE. I'm so thankful for my husband. Single ladies, stop jumping around from guy to guy (especially if you have kids- dont even get me started on that!) God will send the right one at the right time."

The woman that posted this doesn't have children, and she's never been divorced. And she is EXACTLY what I mean when I say, "I hate Murray County-ans."

Ahem.

My children are the best and most important thing in my life. The love a parent feels for their child is something that can't be put into words. I held both of them in my arms after hours of labor to get them here and knew my life would never be the same. I have changed countless diapers, wiped endless snotty noses, been puked on, peed on, and lost hours and hours of sleep. I have been Santa. I have been the Tooth Fairy. I have cried as they started pre-k and Kindergarten. I have played tea party and fairies and superheroes and pirates. I have caught the stomach bugs they brought home from school and taken care of them while I was sick myself. I have held them as they cried because their feelings got hurt at school and cried because my heart was breaking as much as theirs was.

I am their mother, and these things, and more, are my job. I would give my last breath for them in a millisecond. Because I am a mom. My life is them. They are my life.

But their dad has them half the time. So half of the time, when they aren't within arms reach, I love them and worry about them and think about them from a distance, and we Skype at night so I can see their beautiful faces. But during this time "off" from being Mom, I keep living my life in the pursuit of happiness. And guess what? That means I date.

We've already established that I'm terrible at it. I almost always go for the wrong kind of guy, and it usually crashes and burns within a couple of months because if I'm honest, commitment scares the hell out of me. I don't want another failed marriage. I don't want to fall in love again after what my heart went through last summer. So with the exception of one almost tragic mistake, I've kept things casual and just had fun with guys I knew weren't marriage material.

AND IM NOT SORRY. I'm a serial dater. I'm learning what I want and what I don't want, because I didn't date around at the age where most people figure it out. Do my kids meet every guy I date? No, they don't. Have they met a couple of guys in an extremely cautious and casual environment? Yes, they have.
Unfortunately, they did meet one man in a romantic and family sense, but to be fair, I was engaged to him with a ring and a dress and a deposit down on a venue. (I'm still thankful every day that God brought us out of that.)

Greenleigh looks up to me and says she wants to be just like me. I'd rather teach her that it's okay to break-up and fail than to stay in something you know isn't right for you and be miserable. Both of my kids can see how happy I am since I started this journey for my own self-discovery. This gypsy soul and hippie life work for me, and I couldn't be happier on my own.

My kids' dad is happily remarried to a woman who is great for him. (No sarcasm here. I'm serious.) He and his new wife have been together for well over a year and a half now. Between the two of them, they have five kids. He's happy, and you can tell because it radiates from him. My kids see how happy they are in a positive and loving relationship, and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful that the three of us get along.

But I don't want to be Carol Brady just yet. I married Tyler three days after my 20th birthday and we divorced right before I turned 25. I'm not even 27 yet. I feel like I owe myself a few more selfish years of figuring out who Lindsey is before I decide to give my life to anyone else again. Anyone other than these two Tiny Humans who still call me Mommy.

We're all just trying to make it here in this crazy world, and this Single Mom and Serial Dater is doing the best she can. Every night I lay down with my two, they hug me as tight as they can and say over and over, "Mommy, we love you more than you'll ever imagine. You're the best mom in the whole world."
Their opinions of me matter. The opinions of others do not.

So, Miss "Don't Even Get Me Started", as you attend church this morning with your first and only husband (so far), and you have yet to EVER pack a diaper bag when you leave the house, I hope you choke on a peppermint. I know your status wasn't directed at me, but I'm not the only one who saw it. I just want you to know that you sound like a condescending, arrogant, judgmental and ignorant bitch, and you should pull your head out of your ass.

If and when you have kids of your own and your marriage fails after two rounds of counseling trying to save it, if and when you have been broken so much you can literally feel your heart shatter, and when you miss your kids so much sometimes you feel like you can't breathe, I hope you find some sort of comfort somewhere. If that happens to be in dating around to figure out what you want, I hope you do so. And I hope no one ever tries to talk down at you for it.